Rent A German


General Culture

I’m more than tempted to file Rent A German under performance art. But it isn’t intended to be art (maybe it is a joke? I can’t tell - it’s German after all). You can rent a German for various things. The holiday package offers “Our Germans will do their best to give you happy moments. In the nature, at the hotel bar or at night dancing…”, and it’s only 750 Euros or about 1000 US$ (“all prices per day, flight included”).

Gushes satisfied customer Leila R., “36 (Rio de Janeiro)”: “I will never forget, when I went to the beach with the German. My friends had a good time, eating chicken with him under the sun of Ipanema beach. Next time, I will buy him a new swimming trouser.”

Also not to be missed Carl Hagen’s comment “58 (New York)”: “After dinner, we watched TV together with the entire family. Suddenly the German started to cry. It was such real and pure emotion. IÂ’d never seen this before. The support package cheered him up again and we read German poems together ‘til 3 am. Even Grandma stayed up and enjoyed the exotic sound of words like ‘Rasenmäher, Motorsäge or Solidargemeinschaft’. Rented again, before our new friend left.”

OK, I take that back. It must be performance art - the kind usually referred to as “life”.