Review of Paris Hilton’s CD



Too good to pass over: “For a woman apparently ill-suited to anything more taxing than standing around nightclubs in a pair of really enormous sunglasses, Paris Hilton is quite the polymath. […] You read her CV and boggle at what wildly improbable occupation she might turn her hand to next. Spot-welding? Cognitive neuropsychology? Alas, no: it’s singing. Lest one carp, Hilton has been quick to point out that singing is a vocation for which she is eminently skilled. ‘I know music,’ she reassured the Sunday Times children’s section. ‘I hear it every single day.’ While this obviously gives Hilton a massive advantage over those who have never heard any music and thus believe it to be a variety of cheese, there remains the nagging suspicion that this might not represent sufficient qualification for a career as a singer, in much the same way as knowing what a child is does not fully equip you for a career as a consultant paediatrician. […] Listening to her sing Rod Stewart’s Do Ya Think I’m Sexy, you are gripped by the fear that civilisation as we know it is doomed and that brimstone is going to start raining from the sky any minute. It doesn’t, but a sense of terrible foreboding is further stoked by the sleeve notes, which make reference to “all my albums to come”. You might call that another example of the sheer force of will that has got Hilton so far in so many improbable careers, but on the basis of the 11 tracks here, it sounds more like a threat.” (full story)